ελπίδα, πίστη, αγάπη

Somehow.

I've been wondering a lot lately about some things in my life. But I could hardly figure out the core of what I really want. Something's amiss. Something's not right.

Opting to be good is not a choice. I do want to do good things, for myself and others, especially for others' sake. But I sometimes want to do some things that can cause harm, of course to myself only. If I do them, I believe I won't care what people will think of me. Too bad, not everyone will just sit and ignore the act. That doesn't bother me. What does is my responsibility to my pupils. They may not know, but that won't win the argument. It's the same whether they know or not.

Besides the people I'm concerned of, what bothers and stops me from doing something is the cause of it. I don't want to do something because someone, especially famous people or characters, have influenced me. I want to do something because I want to. And I'm still figuring out if my desire to do something has any external force included.

It seems like I am talking rubbish. Quite. It's good though. Delays me from doing the act, in case I plan to carry it out.



Music:
Natalie Imbruglia - Smoke