信頼

It remains a secret no one knows. And no one will ever know unless one of us spills the beans. Or if God decides to unfold it.

 

If someone else will find out, I will be fine. I will be fine. And I pray the same goes with you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The songs I am listening to lately speak about me. In a sense. They are like the songs I have always wanted to sing. They speak about my story, my thoughts, and what I am going through. It is amusing.

 

These songs save me from shedding a tear. I don't want to blog out what I have in mind. It feels troublesome doing so lately. I have discussed the matter with a friend though. Thank you, Joseph. And thank you for the advice. I might consider it, having two people now who give me such advice. It's reasonable.

 

It's raining. It is raining hard. And I want to sleep. I want to go through deep sleep. I don't want to go to school. Bleh.

 

 

 

 

I hate this furk-bloody pain!!

 

I bloody know it's emotional pain because I know the source. Bloody! But HADES, I can't feel it. I cannot feel emotional pain. Or maybe I have already forgotten how to feel one. I do have physical complains though. It sucks. Yes, I feel physical pain because I can handle it better than emotional pain. CRAAAAP!!

 

Listening to some songs I used to ignore are making some sense to me. What's the deal with pain, men? Duh! As if I don't know the answer. It's an alarm telling us, "Hey, something's wrong here!" *raises hands*

 

 

 

Hades. I can feel a "storm" inside and I am losing control. And when I said "inside" I wasn't talking emotional. It's still physical. It's like a turbulence. I hate it! Can't I just know and acknowledge that I am hurt and skip the physical discomforts?

 

If I am to connect my "MetaHuman-ess as Storm" blame me not for the up-coming storm in PAR. XD And yester night's rain was also out of my conscious control. Maybe I was bursting. Haha!

 

 

My blogsite about dreams is still causing me headache. Posting has been disabled. Hades. I guess I'll just have to write here for the mean time. -_-

 

I saw my friends' dad in my dream. He was with some boys whom I don't know. Someone was taking pictures of them. And I don't know who the photographer was. I didn't even see him or her. I just saw my friends' dad and two boys posing. They look like his nephews. That's just a thought though.

 

 

I was in HotL having a nap. It was an afternoon nap with some of my friends. When I woke up, I just realized that I had a dream dream. Haha! I somehow wanted that dream. Ok, I want that dream. But please let no one shoot me, especially God. (._. )

 

I stayed sitting still before I got up because I was still thinking of dream. I was somehow happy to have that dream. And a part of me wanted it to happen. But that would be most unlikely to happen especially with what I found out the day after. It hurt me, I know. There were signs and symptoms and I just couldn't ignore them because I am in Nursing . I am still capable of seeing things objectively.

 

That dream.. My favourite ivh heaven hell gave me. And I had what I've always wanted to give this recipient in that dream. A dream I had in a dream. It was all a dream.

 

I can't have that dream. Perhaps never. Yes, never. Because I told God I won't ask for "it" and I will be keeping my word though it hurts.