Wednesday, 30 April 2008
Blog
Blogging helps me cope with stress and crappy things. But one of my blogs is just being a bitch. I wonder what's going on with the server or whatever you call it. I don't speak ITerms. I am sorry.I was supposed to update my dream-blog (it's a blog about my dreams). I was actually supposed to update days ago but I just didn't feel like going online and updating stuff. I've been tired since last week. I just had a good nap yesterday because I was shutting down. It was good enough, for my physical body. As for the other aspect of my life, I need money. MONEE. I want to do some girly-stuff. Read: SHOPPING. Oh well, forget it. XD
An hour from now will be our exam in CHD. Hades, I hope I have read enough. And I pray I can remember them all. This week is supposed to be about recovery, but another load of concerns piled up. I haven't even scanned those pics Saging asked me to. Pasaylo. v_v
Btw, I miss my royal son. He no longer calls me okaasan. >_< I can't even remember the last time he called me one. *tampo* I miss my sweet royal son. But of course, he's got some stuff to attend to. ^_~ Pa-burger ka naman!
I think I've already updated in most of my blogs. This means one thing. I am going through some distrubance. Hades, I am not emotionally or mentally disturbed.
For the record of being a crap and cranky:
WHEN WILL YOU GIVE ME AN OFFER I CAN NEVER REFUSE?
now playing:
The Brilliant Green - Stand By Me
11:55 Posted in Web | Permalink | Comments (2) | Email this
Tuesday, 29 April 2008
20-28 April 2008
20 APRIL 2008
Prep Day for the VBS.
21-25 APRIL 2008
Vacation Bible School. I was only able to attend on Thursday. I had review class on Monday to Wednesday and group review on Friday.
Vacation Music Workshop. Perfect attendance! I usually head to HotL after review class.
26 APRIL 2008
VBS Grad. It was held in Camp Aguinaldo. It was fun especially having my friends around. ^_^
Last week was really toxic, but I did manage and had fun. It was nice. I've been going to HotL for 9 consecutive days already. And I'm going back there later for VMW practice, for our recital next week. *nervous* And yeah, I always come home late. o_o I did come home early yesterday but I left at 04:30 and returned at 08:00. Not late. XD
now playing:
OLIVIA - Who's Gonna Stop It?
05:56 Posted in Events | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
I want to see YOU face to face..
I sometimes want to see God (face to face) and ask Him some personal questions. I want to know what He wants me to learn. I want to know how to let go of some things in life. I know I told God that I won't ask of Him a particular thing. I gave it up weeks ago. It still hurts. It'd be a lie if I say it doesn't hurt. I may not feel the pain in my heart, but it hurts somewhere else. I am fine with that. Heart-san has been hurt a lot and I don't want him to take any more pain. It's not healthy for him.I've always wanted to have something to make me forget it. But it's not easy. I even sometimes feel that something's getting stronger. Too bad, I can't express enough so I have to show it somewhere else. I am actually trying to think of a proper term for it. It is either sublimation or displacement without the negative attribute.
There's a movie that I want to watch because I'm intrigued with the plot. I hope I can watch it. But more than that, I really want to get over some things I am having a hard time forgetting. Losh. I know I am a forgetful person, but there are just some things that I could hardly forget no matter what I do.
Father in heaven, if it is Your will, I want to see Core soon. If it pleases You, please allow me to have Core. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.
now playing:
Rebecca St. James - Desperate for You
05:25 Posted in Blog | Permalink | Comments (2) | Email this
Sunday, 27 April 2008
Emotional pain sometimes manifests through physical pain.
Shugudeng! Shugudeng! Shugudeng, shugudeng, shugudeng!!
I intended to write about the dream I had yester noon. But something happened. I think I am exercising self-actualization because I can see myself objectively. Haha! The recent situation reminds me of what Dr. James Wilson said to Dr. House. Oh my gulay! I am having difficulty of breathing. No tachy nor dyspnea, but a little DOB. It feels like my trachea is having a little spasm.
Boom! I'm on hyperventilation. Am I having repistaory acidosis? I'm confused. x_x
06:10 Posted in Blog | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
Monday, 21 April 2008
I don't know..
I am making an entry just to update and shamelessly plug my other blog- JenShinrai in BlogSpot. =D And of course, to mark this day as the second time I made a Frittata. ^___^
Our Instrumentation Training had also began tonight. And the VBS started this morning. =)
23:10 Posted in Web | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
Friday, 18 April 2008
The day I saw it coming..
I'll always remember it was late afternoon.
It lasted forever and ended so soon...
I'll always remember when I saw it coming three hundred and sixty-six days ago..
It lasted forever and ended so soon...
I'll always remember when I saw it coming three hundred and sixty-six days ago..
` ` `
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for leaving.
` ` `
` ` `
I wanted to hold you
I wanted to make it go away
I wanted to know you
I wanted to make your everything, all right....
I wanted to make it go away
I wanted to know you
I wanted to make your everything, all right....
16:50 Posted in Blog | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
Thursday, 03 April 2008
Unspoken Promise
I was reading Princess Ai when I got reminded of an unspoken promise. I was trying to figure out what exactly I made as a promise for someone. Because if what I think was my unspoken promise then there will be conflict with my plans. More than that, I want to keep my unspoken promise. But can I really keep it? How far can I take?
"Hindi nga naman nakakatuwang malaman na iniiwasan ka ng kaibigan mo."
-AFA
Now playing:
Ayashi no Ceres - Iwao Junko - Sukaretto
02:00 Posted in Blog | Permalink | Comments (2) | Email this
Wednesday, 02 April 2008
Suppression
Oh my Gackt, I am hurt!
I bloody hate it. I'm having pain on my posterior left shoulder near the scapulae. Crap. I am not thinking of a radiating pain. The crap is something else. For heaven's sake, how am I supposed to express the pain? How am I supposed to understand this pain?
Of all the posts I have in this blog, this entry is the most honest when it comes to my soul. But it sucks because I could hardly understand myself. Or maybe I just refuse to admit some things.
I am supressing. How I wish to have my own Yasu. I can't shed any tears. I can't express emotions. They're all locked inside. I hate it. I don't want to be weak. I don't want to feel down. Maybe I have programmed myself enough into that so it's subconsciously expressed this way-unable to express what I feel.
In the end, it is I who suffer.
How am I supposed to carry this burden? Ask my friends for help? It's none of their business. I have told Kei enough of my troubles and I don't want to bother him again. It's enough.
I guess I just have to take this misery of being unable to express what I feel.
I am alone and it is better that way. Greater expectations, greater disappointments.
This blog can be viewed by everyone. But I know no one pays attention to this that's why I don't mind posting this situation of mine here. No one from my family or friends read this so it's okay to post.
I am going to hide in plain sight, like what I always do.
Now playing:
Ryo Sakai - Heavens and Earth
23:05 Posted in Blog | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this