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25 September 2007

Irony

I have learned that there are times in a person's life that when there is no human capable of relieving the intense anguish that comes upon men at desperate times, there is only God...
-Grace Hernandez (Friendster shout out)


Bloody true.

People, given the nature they have, long for a companion who will be there with them when the rain is too strong to cover the sky and let the sun show even a thin line of ray. Sometimes someone comes along and seems to offer an umbrella to shelter. Because man is tired and weak, he wants to yield and seek comfort. But some people have too much fidelity that they cannot or could hardly allow someone else to do so. The reason? They want someone else to be there. Too bad for them, it does not always happen.

92b7a897f4bacdf266d90639aeef1c27.pngMost of the time, the people we long for comfort are the ones who are either out of reach or simply people who have nothing to do with us. It is none of their business if we suffer, stumble, and fall. Those who are out of reach may do care, but they are too busy to empathize or even sympathize.

Because of such situation, some people give in to those who just happened to pass by and see them in their troubled state. Most of the time, these people who just passed by happen to be people who really do care.

Comfort may have been given, but it is like a plastic or disposable bandage a.k.a. band-aid. The relief does not have a long term effect because what those who have suffered really want is not the treatment offered. What they want is someone in particular who, even if does nothing, will be there for them.

This reminds me of a SMS (quote) forwarded to me. It goes like this. “…You were just not there when I was falling.”
 
 
 
music:
Switchfoot (live in Manila) - Dare You to Move 

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24 September 2007

Fi! Mew.. :3

fc811ea044e9344dffe05d31edff1140.jpg
 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ARCKHAM!
 
 
Today is my friend's birthday so I thought I'd make this journal entry for him.
 
So, what did this friend of mine do or have to deserve an exclusive entry in my blog? *thinks* I guess he's just a spoiled to me. lol.
 
He has done a lot, which I am thankful for. Those were not just for me but for others as well. Lots of stuff. I admire this person's generosity. And thoughtfulness if you wish to add. He's also a concern friend, by the way. I hope he'd be able to read this. =p
 
My friend is also a talented person; he's a promising musician and artist. I hope he'd be able to make more artworks because his works have a distinct quality I am yet to find. It's cool.
 
He may have a temper that needs to be controlled, but he's a person whose company you will surely enjoy. He can relate to people easily, which always reminds me of how nurses should be. He may pass in the therapeutic communication skills of nurses but I wonder if he'll be able to stand patients who are just pain in the head. XD
 
He is also a friend who have been a great help to me when I was losing hold of focus. There are more appropriate words yet worse so I am not using them. The thing is he helped me pick myself up. I thank God for that.
 
We know this year rocked us all. It hasn't ended yet so it's still rocking us. So much surprises that are yet to come. I know God has still so much in store so my friend, keep the faith! The Lord will always be there for you.
 
Wou! I never thought this would take this long. But it's okay. It's his day. =p
 
Last words... There shall be none. Okasaan has still more to say. XD
 
 
 
music:
T4T - Takemehome

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20 September 2007

The future is a present yet to come.

dbd040c0228df75cb39691eb725a0d9e.pngMany things have been made known to me. But there are more to know. Not now, tough. But the things I've seen are good enough to be reckoned.
 
I have so much to do with my life, especially what's inside of me. And I have so much to get rid of. I am just like other human beings, but I there are things that make me different.
 
The future is a present yet to come. So no matter what comes, I have to be prepared. I have seen a glimpse of tomorrow and I now realize that no matter what comes, whether I like it or not, I must be good enough.
 
I said I am preparing myself (about something particular). I must keep my word. When I get there, I shall not be the damaged person I used to be. I owe that to God and to this person.
 
 
 
 
music:
The Corrs - Don't Say You Love Me 

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18 September 2007

The Corrs galore

These are all The Corrs song.

 

LEAVE ME ALONE 

I'm alone, hiding in the dark
I'm looking for a life
To come and rescue me
I sleep, I rise
Hear your denies
Endlessly inside
It's crazy but

(sometimes I feel like)
I wanna' to run away
(sometimes I feel like)
I've gotta' get away
(One day you will see)
Another side of me
(My life I command)
It's not the way that you planned

Leave me alone (leave me alone)
Leave me alone
Out on my own (out on my own)
Leave me alone

What do you want from me
Do you dream of a life
Your life through me
Myself, my time
In one we unite
I don't ever want to be
That girl you want it to be

(Sometimes I feel like)
I wanna' to run away
(Sometimes I feel like)
I've gotta' get away
(One day you will see)
Another side of me
(My life I command)
It's not the way that you planned

Leave me alone (leave me alone)
Leave me alone
Out on my own (out on my own)
Leave me alone, yeah.....

(One day you will see)
Another side of me
My life I command
It's not the way
It's not the way that you planned

Leave me alone (leave me alone)
Leave me alone
Out on my own (out on my own)
Leave me alone
Leave me alone (leave me alone)
Leave me alone
Out on my own (out on my own)
Leave me alone
Leave me alone (leave me alone)
Leave me alone
Out on my own (out on my own)
Leave me alone

 

HOPELESSLY ADDICTED

Opened my eyes today
And I knew there's something different
Saw you in a brand new way
Like the clouds had somehow lifted
And if yesterday I heard
Myself saying these words
I would swear it was a lie

I don't know why..., but suddenly I'm falling
(na na na, na na na na na)
Was I so blind...
I was loving you all the time
Now I'm hopelessly addicted
Helplessly attracted

I'll make a wish this day
And I'll send it to the heavens
That we will always stay
Entwined like this forever
And though the world may change
Coz nothing stays the same
I know we will survive

I don't know why..., but suddenly I'm falling
(na na na, na na na na na)
Was I so blind...
I was loving you all the time
Now I'm hopelessly addicted
Naturally we acted

I don't know why..., but suddenly I'm falling
(na na na, na na na na na)
I was so blind...
I was loving you all the time
And now I'm
Hopelessly addicted
Helplessly attracted
(na na na, na na na na na)
Chemically reacted
I was loving you all the time
Hopelessly addicted
Helplessly attracted
Chemically reacted
Naturally we acted
Yeah, Ohh...

 

GIVE ME A REASON

Give me a reason... (Give me a reason... Give me a reason...)

It's not romantic here in blue
Swimming, swimming in blue
You left me lonely and confused
Question, questioning you
So soon goodbye you stole my heart
I'm believing you
Was it a lie right from the start
Answer, answer me do...

Well now my body's weak - so just give me a reason
And my make-up's off - so just give me a reason
And my defense's down - so just give me a reason
Give me a reason
Give me a reason

You'll never know the love I felt
Waiting, waiting for you
It takes a weak heart to forget
Follow, follow it through

Well now my body's weak - so just give me a reason
And my make-up's off - so just give me a reason
And my defense's down - so just give me a reason
Give me a reason
Give me a reason
Give me a reason...

[Violin solo]

So what's a girl like me to do
Drowning, drowning in you
And who's to save me from the blue
Carry, carry me through

Cause now my body's weak - so just give me a reason
And my make-up's off - so just give me a reason
And my defense's down - so just give me a reason
I am strong enough - so just give me a reason
Now my body's weak - so just give me a reason
And my make-up's off - so just give me a reason
My defense's down - so just give me a reason
Give me a reason
Give me a reason
Give me a reason
Give me a reason
Give me a reason
What did I do wrong...

 

 

ONLY WHEN I SLEEP

You're only just a dreamboat
Sailing in my head
You swim my secret oceans
Of coral blue and red
Your smell is incense burning
Your touch is silken yet
It reaches through my skin
And moving from within
It clutches at my breast

But it's only when I sleep
See you in my dreams
You got me spinning round and round
Turning upside-down
But I only hear you breathe

Somewhere in my sleep
Got me spinning round and round
Turning upside-down
But its only when I sleep

And when I wake from slumber
Your shadow's disappear
Your breath is just a sea mist
Surrounding my body
I'm workin' through the daytime
But when it's time to rest
I'm lying in my bed
Listening to my breath
Falling from the edge

But it's only when I sleep
See you in my dreams, (dreams)
You got me spinning round and round
Turning upside-down
But I only hear you breathe
Somewhere in my sleep, (in my sleep)
Got me spinning round and round
Turning upside-down
But its only when I sleep
It's only when I sleep

[Sharon & Andrea solo]

Up to the sky
Where angels fly
I'll never die
Hawaiian High
In bed I lie
No need to cry
My sleeping cry
Hawaiian High

It's reaching through my skin
Movin' from within
And clutches at my breasts...

But it's only when I sleep...
See you in my dreams, (dreams)
You got me spinning round and round
Turning upside-down
But I only hear you breathe

In bed I lie
No need to cry
My sleeping cry
Hawaiian High

But it's only when I sleep... aaaaaaa....
Got me spinning round and round
(Turning upside-down)

Up to the sky
Where angels fly
I'll never die
Hawaiian High
But it's only when I sleep...

 

ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD 

I'm not looking for someone to talk to
I've got my friend, I'm more than O.K.
I've got more than a girl could wish for
I live my dreams but it's not all they say
Still I believe (I'm missing) I'm missing something real
I need someone who really sees me...

(Don't wanna wake...) Don't wanna wake up alone anymore
Still believing you'll walk through my door
All I need is to know it's for sure
Then I'll give... all the love in the world

I've often wondered if love's an illusion
Just to get you through the loneliest days
I can't criticize it
I have no hestitaion
My imagination just stole me away
(Still...) Still I believe
(I'm missing) I'm missing something real
I need someone who really sees me...

(Don't wanna wake...) Don't wanna wake up alone anymore
Still believing you'll walk through my door
All I need is to know it's for sure
Then I'll give... all the love in the world

Love's for a lifetime not for a moment
So how could I throw it away
Yeah I'm only human
And nights grow colder
With no-one to love me that way
Yeah I need someone who really sees me...

(Don't wanna wake...) And i won't wake up alone anymore
Still believing you'll walk through my door
You'll reach for me and I'll know it's for sure
Then I'll give all the love in the world
(Don't wanna wake up alone anymore...)

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17 September 2007

Life, Friend, Self

49914845c5f5ca0014c5390f54ffd1f8.pngLife is weird. So am I.
 
I miss a friend of mine whom I used to tell things without hesitancy. I feel I could tell anything, anytime. But things have changed. I don't know when it all started or how it happened, but I can see a difference in our relationship now. I miss this friend of mine.
 
People stay together for a reason. There may be no verbal agreement, but they know they have to stay together and share things with each other. With this friend of mine, I wonder where my boundaries are now set. There is a fault in me and there is a fault in my friend. I am not sure though whose contribution is bigger. I think I should take the blame.
 
This is not what I was supposed to write in this blog, but it's what my fingers were punching. A lot of things are bothering me and they are not limited in real-time situations. Even my dreams are bothering me. They are also weird. And becoming more each day.
 
I have decided that I will dismiss some things about me through DABDA. So no matter how great it is, I shall stay in Ds. I even doubt if I can call out to my friend. But that's how things are.
 
Being in a situation, which is the worst for a nurse really sucks. But life's like that. I already know what to do next time.
 
 
 
 
mood: sleepy
music: Kozo Nakamura - CaptivAte

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16 September 2007

Reminders to be reckoned

1728c197ca8b3ca0317cfac17ffc9bac.pngSo much reminders have been bombarded to me during the past week. And I know there is none I could do but do what must be done. We don't have all the time in this world. I don't have every moment of my life. When I step out of college my time, resources, and life will be required of me by my profession-to-be. And I know I must redeem time (for the days are evil).
 
As day passes by, the things that trouble my life have become more clear to me. And I must face them, properly. Recognition is not enough. I must get rid of them. I must strengthen, by the power of the Holy Spirit, the armour of God. And I pray to God for help; that I may be able to obey and submit completely. I must not allow the flesh to take control.
 
I am no longer a baby. I must rise above myself and be a victorious person. I am more than a conqueror.
 
 
 
music:
Switchfoot - On Fire 

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12 September 2007

Ambiguity

31da8d30f3789efe00b6bbfce9706568.pngNeko and the website I visited last night were right. Keeping oneself busy helps forget some things. Being busy really helps. I even found myself quite open. But being so makes me reckon some things.
 
I have decided before that I will kill this unnecessary load. It's not completely gone. But I am close. But then, this reminds me of what the Lord told me. I am really stubborn. And I am close to disobedience. My heart is getting disobedient. But I am only trying to protect it. Maybe I am doing it wrong.
 
It was the same desire I have before, to kill without the assistance of hate. I just want it gone. And I was able to forget and get rid of it because something new and better came. This time, the hold is too strong. It has not left my mind, completely. The answer to why is simple. It's like the picture/avatar I have for this entry.
 
Life is complicated. I am complicated. But I like it that way because it makes me weigh things and foresee some possible consequences. It also reminds me what my standards are.
 
 
mood: curious
music: Jars of Clay - Love Song for a Saviour 
 
 
 
PS: I wonder how it feels to be killed/hurt by the one you love. *watching Gatekeepers* 

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06 September 2007

Focus

d07fb520c753e0b65646ad0afe3aacea.jpgI'm interpretating data for our research paper but I could hardly concentrate. I'm tired and sleepy. Aww... And my head suddenly started aching. =( I tried to have moments of rest, but something would pop out in my mind. It was consuming. It still is. Oh my Gackt. What am I gonna do?
 
Me have to stay strong. Me have to try harder to control things... This reminds me of a song by Madonna, Crazy for You. This "popping" thing really drives me crazy. By the way, define crazy, please. XD
 
Somebody stop me! XD
 
 
 
 
music: Crazy for You

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